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INSIGHT CRIZ

applying love in our life

Archive for the ‘relationship’ Category

HOW WOULD YOU FACE DEATH?

Written by crizlai on Mar 2nd, 2008 | Filed under: death, life, rant, relationship

DEATH

Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life. – Unknown

What a great poem this is? Life is surely great, even until the last day if and if only you know how to see, understand and live it well. Most people will fear death, worrying unnecessary about it. Will this make death go away? Someday, somehow, whether it is in our prime time, sickness or old age, we still cannot avoid death. Death is universal. It will strike all and spare none. Not even plants, insects, animal and any other life forms will escape this part of the life cycle.

What really impressed me is the courage of 46 years old Prof. Randy Pausch, PhD. He knew he was going to die in 3-6 months’ time after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in August 15th, 2007 and yet he has the courage to face death and gave his last lecture on life. This Carnegie Mellon University’s professor of Computer Science has given some great contributions to the field of virtual reality, science, and education. What a great way to die without feeling the sorrow and yet did something positive for himself and the world. In fact, Prof. Randy is alive and kicking on February 15, 2008, the maximum period the doctors have given him to live.

“The doctors weren’t wrong; they always said that if the palliative chemo worked, it would buy more time, but that it was a long shot. And the doctors have done a brilliant job of tweaking my regimen to help my odds. How much longer this will work is hard to know, but I’m going to keep having fun every day I have left, no matter how many or how few of them I get,” said Prof. Randy. Thinking positive and having his life lived to the fullest was what Prof. Randy had in this mind. He did not worry at all of even his funeral preparations but instead he spent his prescribed limited time with his family, laughing and having fun just like any normal person would do.

“Attitude clearly matters in fighting cancer. We don’t know why (from my old-style materialistic perspective, I suspect that mental states feed back upon the immune system). But match people with the same cancer for age, class, health, socioeconomic status, and, in general, those with positive attitudes, with a strong will and purpose for living, with commitment to struggle, with an active response to aiding their own treatment and not just a passive acceptance of anything doctors say, tend to live longer,” said Stephen Jay Gould, an influential evolutionary biologist who once taught at the Harvard University. He lived 20 more productive years on top of the 8-month median survival as diagnosed by his doctors.

Here is part of the video clip of the professor’s last lecture as well of the interview he had with ABC. Spend 10 minutes of your time to watch it and appreciate what was said inside. It may take some time in streaming of the video but it is worth the waiting to learn how to live life wonderfully even though death is at the doorsteps.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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WHAT ARE YOUR MAIN PRIORITIES IN LIFE?

Written by crizlai on Feb 25th, 2008 | Filed under: life, priority, rant, relationship

PRIORITYLIFE

There are many times that we could not decide what will be the best decision in our life. As we grow older and have many commitments in our hands, we tend to get into more and more complicated issues that will decide on how we are going to be in our future. Different people think differently when faced with such situations. What would your decision be if you were to get into one? Let me discuss with you on one case and see how you are going to pull through.

It starts with you not staying with your parents but within the same state as they are. Sometimes, your scope of work would require you to go outstation for a few days to seal a contract or to maintain the rapport with your clients, which is critical to your success in your business.

Scenario 1: You have a pair of elderly parents who had blows in their health life recently and would want someone to take care of the other half’s needs. As a son/daughter who is staying the nearest to them, would you sacrifice what you are doing now and lend a helping hand to ease the functioning of the household during this period of time? Don’t forget, without their sacrifices in your upbringing, you would not be who you are today. On the other hand, without your 100% attention to your online business, you will not sustain your livelihood for the next few months or maybe years or maybe your whole life.

Scenario 2: You are in an online business and business has just began to blossom. Whichever time you have now is critical to how you are going to survive until your old age. Every minutes and seconds count and to take off even a few hours for personal chores is practically not possible. Suddenly one of your parents has some health issues and required to be hospitalized for a few days. The other parent of yours has just recovered from a serious illness not long ago and does not have the energy to even get the household running smoothly. No one would be preparing the meals. Neither will anyone be there to see if there are groceries to be replenished. What about the visits to the hospital and the medical bills that will be incurred?

From the above two scenarios, don’t you think that life is rather complicated? How great it is if man were born to be able to astral project himself to two places at the same time. Now this is a great headache for just anyone as one situation is just as important as the other. To choose one would be unfair, to choose both would be strenuous to your health, mentally and physically. What would you do if you were to face with these situations? Do share out your suggestion here.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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HOLDING ON TO LOVE

Written by crizlai on Jan 21st, 2008 | Filed under: life, love, relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have known many people who are still holding on to love when the relationship between what was a good one ended abruptly. How sad it is to love someone you really cared for and yet you could not maintain the relationship? The saddest thing about life is that when you met someone and fell in love only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be. You have wasted years and years of your life waiting and hoping to gain back what was lost but is it worth it? Is it going to become a reality? Is it worth it to hold on and wait for another five years, ten years or even more?

What is stopping you from moving on? Is the love that strong until you would put on hold your future for the sake of waiting and hoping that the day would come when you can salvage back what was taken away from you? Love is like a clear lake which was stained by the blood from a broken heart. If scooping and throwing away a glass of the lake water is equivalent to an hour, how long do you think you can make the water clear again? How confident are you that you have the power and energy to do that? How sure are you that the water would be cleared of the blood pollution? No matter how hard you tried, you will never clear the hurt and bad memories of what had happened. This is the nature of the heart to feel but forever fear and the mind to remember but never forget.

You can depict love like a butterfly. The more you chase after it, the more it will fly away from you. If you just let it has its freedom to fly and to choose, it may come to you one day when you least expect it. Theoretically this is true but what are the chances of someone having the full freedom coming back to the tiger’s den? It is almost as good as none. As the sayings go, “once bitten, twice shy”. How can you mend a heart that has been broken before? How can you mend a relationship that has become stale? If the love is strong enough, no matter how far apart two persons are; it will never end in any way. What is yours is yours as love cannot be forced.

Love is like on a performance stage. You will never know whether it is true or false unless you experience it yourself. It can make you happy but often it hurts. So take your time and choose the best. It may soar or fall apart but do not be disheartened. Cherish the moment well with that someone who is really worth it. After all, to love in a relationship is to grow in life. Remember this well: “Do not be too dependent or possessive in love. Pure love does not cause you pain.”

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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THE PLEASURES AND PRESSURES OF BEING MARRIED

Written by crizlai on Jan 6th, 2008 | Filed under: life, love, marriage, rant, relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When love sparks, two people will eventually come together and marriage will be one of the most fundamental and enduring social institutions that will ever happen. Man and woman will think of the partnership and facing sacrifices for the sake of both parties and in an attempt to seek security and contentment from their mutual understanding. Then comes in the thought of expanding that relationship into a family, where children will come into their lives. This is the general idea of a married life.

As years of the intimate emotional relationship goes by, it is inevitable that some misunderstanding and friction due to anger, suspicion or jealousy will occur from time to time. This is where a person will have to put his/her level of understanding, tolerance and love to test. Marriage is actually based on compatibility and not just by finding someone you deemed fit to your liking. Even if it is so, it is always the mutual respect, love and concern that will make the marriage a success. You do not go through marriage blindly without sharing the happiness and pain as a whole. It will not work as it will result in bad communication and understanding in time to come.

Most cases of marital problems arose due to the unwillingness of a partner to compromise with another. As the sayings, “It takes two hands to make a clap”. When a minor misunderstanding occurs, it is best that one side maintain the coolness until whatever thunderstorm, hurricane or tornado subsided. This is easily said than done as most of the time, as a human with heavy emotion, it is hard for many to control the inbuilt time bomb that will explode by a mere flick of the fingers. The golden rule in any marriage is that problems can be resolved without violence and anger. Try to enrich your life by nurturing the patience, tolerance and understanding within yourself.

It was the heydays when man used to dominate the working world as the sole bread earner for his family. In the modern society of today, both sexes play an important part in the success of bringing up a family. Household chores are no longer limited to the women as they are now shared duties for both working couple. There should no longer be the term “man of the house” or “woman of the house” and replaced with the term “guardians of the family”.

There was this joke about having an ideal relationship being married. “A good marriage would be between a deaf husband and a blind wife.” I had a good laugh when I read about the reasoning behind the saying few years back. It seems that as a married man, he tends to get a lot of grumbling and nagging from the wife, whereas as a married woman, she tends to look for perfection in her husband. In the end, what would be more ideal than to have a husband who will not “hear” the nagging of the wife and a wife who would not “see” the faults and weaknesses of her husband?

There are countless of pleasures and pressures in a marriage life and to cover all would be like reading the trilogy of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and so on. There is only one rule in a good marriage that I am going to mention here. Have a good thought about it.

Marriage is like a pair of scissors that have both blades stuck together. They are inseparable. Although both moves opposite directions most of the time, together they will still cut through the hardship and toughness of what lies ahead.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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THROUGH THE EYES OF A MARRIED PERSON

Written by crizlai on Dec 26th, 2007 | Filed under: life, parenting, rant, relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What would you think would be the first impression of a person on another before getting married? Do you think it is love at first sight? Do you think it is the feel of knowing that the other person would be your perfect soul mate in the future? Do you think it is the desire to own another for self image and financial stability? Do you think that it is a way to satisfy your sexual desire as you would now be doing it legally and at any time you want? What about being pregnant and getting someone pregnant? Is it a thrill and excitement or is it sadness and sorrow?

These are some of the question I asked myself each time I see or hear disputes amongst married couples. Sex is indeed quite important in the life of a marriage. It is just an expression of a marital love and should not be taken as the main priority of a relationship. After all, a married life should be filled with mutual understanding in order to adjust, sacrifice, tolerate and be patient in situations that are deemed improper. It is also a commitment to lead the partnership towards attaining peace, harmony and contentment.

Now comes the hardest part of a married life. What would happen when they have children? There would be more commitments and responsibilities in the upbringing, as a child would spend most of his/her formative years in the care of the parents at home. Thus, a child would be picking up and imitate the lifestyle and values of the parents. This is the most crucial period for the parents as a child will have the immense potential to be good or evil.

What would you do as a parent to the child? Would you sacrifice your time to guide your child in their needs, from the basic necessity of food and lodging, education, until your see him/her walking down the aisle? Or would you chase your own dreams of being extremely rich without having the time even to be at home for his/her birthdays? Unfortunately, most parents of today are lack of this responsibility, causing their children to go astray in the society. The child becomes ruthless and rowdy because the lack of one thing that is most important in their lives – attention!

The first few years in the life of a child is basically formed based on character building. They will absorb characteristics by imitating the emotions of the parents. This is the most crucial period to be by his/her side all the time to show your parental love and affection, having a “love-filled-dispute-none” environment and to instill positive values into his/her life. Not only will the child grow up to be emotionally stable, s/he will also be sound both morally and psychologically.

Before you can even blink your eyes, the adolescence years of a child will slowly slip in. A child will see some changes to his/her physical appearances. This is the time where they will be asking about the “flowers and the bees” and life questions. As a parent, you have to be prepared to answer any questions thrown to you, by answering openly, truthfully and informatively to your child. Withholding vital information will not stop him/her from being exposed to any danger.

This is not the end of the duties of the parents. There will still be the college years, career years, courtship years, and marriage years to consider. So, what do you see through the eyes of a married person now? Do you think it is easy for them in their life? Do you think they have not sacrificed enough for the sake of a child’s life in the future? Do you think they should be ignored forever just because of a little advice that they have given for the sake of ensuring a child’s brighter future? Well, you will know when you are in their shoes and seeing through their eyes when you are married and have a child of yourself.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?

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