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INSIGHT CRIZ

applying love in our life

Archive for the ‘life’ Category

LIFE IS A TEST

Written by crizlai on Jan 15th, 2008 | Filed under: life, rant, test

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life is a series of test. In our life, we faced many difficulties. These difficulties are tests. In fact, our whole life is a school. From the time we first open our eyes until the time we close our eyes, we will not stop studying and gaining knowledge in our school. This may sound ridiculous but this is the facts of life.

In out school, we tend to face many failures, one after another. Did we ever give up? No, we did not. We kept on pulling ourselves upwards to pull through the ordeal of falling down. Do you not think that this is a test to see if we have reach the stage of maturity, the strengthening of courage, the trust in ourselves and in our life? No matter how we fair in the test, we will eventually know the results as we look back to them as experiences.

Do you think that it is good to be tested on and off? Through each test that we have gone through, we will know that life is just a subject; a subject that we grow and learn the true meaning of life. For each problem that we encounter, we will learn more on the solutions that we can apply in the future.

Gaining the knowledge alone will not help you pass through your tests if you do not know how to apply that knowledge tactfully. You will need to cultivate the habit of constant revision to update your knowledge of any new topics. Using the resources that you have gained, and applying them in your studies will eventually made you understand more on any typical situations. You will become more sensitive and analytically equipped to any topics thrown to you.

Do I sound confusing to you? Well, this is life. Life is meant to be confusing and complicated until you have reached the maturity to understand it. In short, life is how we want ourselves to be. If we fall down and decided not to pull ourselves back into the right track, we will never succeed in whatever endeavors. We will never stop learning. We will never stop absorbing good experiences that can help us grow. In fact, without the experiences that we have encountered throughout our life, we will not know how to be sensitive towards others’ feelings. Neither will we be able to share the love and appreciate someone you cared for full heartedly.

Have you reach that stage in life? I would admit that I have yet to reach the stage because I have not and will not stop learning how to be a better person until the day I leave this world. What I have learned throughout this life education is just a peanut hidden within its shell, wanting to break out to see the world out there. Until the day that I have not found the rich soil that would enable me to grow, I would still be facing the many threats of being roasted, broiled or even fried in my life cycle.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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WE CANNOT PLEASE EVERYONE

Written by crizlai on Jan 10th, 2008 | Filed under: life, rant

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You might have heard of Aesop’s fables on “The Man, The Boy and The Donkey”. The story goes like this. A Man and his Son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: “You fools! What is a Donkey for but to ride on?” So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said, “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.” So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”

Well, the Man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said, “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey with you and your hulking son?”

The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned. “That will teach you,” said an old man who had followed them. “Please all, and you will please none.”

How true it is that we cannot please everyone. We have to realize that everyone takes different paths and paces to reach the same goal. Therefore, we should not stop others from practicing their way to achieve a task which differs from ours. We are living in a society that is ever changing. There are many views and opinions from all walks of life and we have to respect and deal with them professionally.

Sometimes, the opinion of others might be right but we have to study in-depth whether it is beneficial to our self improvement. If it is not, then discards the opinion and does what you think is right. It is just impossible to please everyone just because they have different opinions or else you would get yourself into more troubles.

It is in the human nature that a person would comment by criticizing, blaming, shouting and laughing at another. If a person just followed blindly in order to please that person, he would be like a slave following the orders of a master without having a stand for himself. It is just like walking along a path filled with pebbles barefooted as ordered when you are having a nice comfortable pair of shoes for your long journey.

It was not wrong for the Man and the Boy to walk along with the Donkey to the market. If he made his stand on moving on without listening to others, he would not end up losing the Donkey. To a person it might be a stupid way but to another, it might just be the right way to achieve what he wanted. What would you do if you were the Man? Would you like to share your opinion here?

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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THE PLEASURES AND PRESSURES OF BEING MARRIED

Written by crizlai on Jan 6th, 2008 | Filed under: life, love, marriage, rant, relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When love sparks, two people will eventually come together and marriage will be one of the most fundamental and enduring social institutions that will ever happen. Man and woman will think of the partnership and facing sacrifices for the sake of both parties and in an attempt to seek security and contentment from their mutual understanding. Then comes in the thought of expanding that relationship into a family, where children will come into their lives. This is the general idea of a married life.

As years of the intimate emotional relationship goes by, it is inevitable that some misunderstanding and friction due to anger, suspicion or jealousy will occur from time to time. This is where a person will have to put his/her level of understanding, tolerance and love to test. Marriage is actually based on compatibility and not just by finding someone you deemed fit to your liking. Even if it is so, it is always the mutual respect, love and concern that will make the marriage a success. You do not go through marriage blindly without sharing the happiness and pain as a whole. It will not work as it will result in bad communication and understanding in time to come.

Most cases of marital problems arose due to the unwillingness of a partner to compromise with another. As the sayings, “It takes two hands to make a clap”. When a minor misunderstanding occurs, it is best that one side maintain the coolness until whatever thunderstorm, hurricane or tornado subsided. This is easily said than done as most of the time, as a human with heavy emotion, it is hard for many to control the inbuilt time bomb that will explode by a mere flick of the fingers. The golden rule in any marriage is that problems can be resolved without violence and anger. Try to enrich your life by nurturing the patience, tolerance and understanding within yourself.

It was the heydays when man used to dominate the working world as the sole bread earner for his family. In the modern society of today, both sexes play an important part in the success of bringing up a family. Household chores are no longer limited to the women as they are now shared duties for both working couple. There should no longer be the term “man of the house” or “woman of the house” and replaced with the term “guardians of the family”.

There was this joke about having an ideal relationship being married. “A good marriage would be between a deaf husband and a blind wife.” I had a good laugh when I read about the reasoning behind the saying few years back. It seems that as a married man, he tends to get a lot of grumbling and nagging from the wife, whereas as a married woman, she tends to look for perfection in her husband. In the end, what would be more ideal than to have a husband who will not “hear” the nagging of the wife and a wife who would not “see” the faults and weaknesses of her husband?

There are countless of pleasures and pressures in a marriage life and to cover all would be like reading the trilogy of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and so on. There is only one rule in a good marriage that I am going to mention here. Have a good thought about it.

Marriage is like a pair of scissors that have both blades stuck together. They are inseparable. Although both moves opposite directions most of the time, together they will still cut through the hardship and toughness of what lies ahead.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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THE ABSENCE OF PEACE

Written by crizlai on Dec 28th, 2007 | Filed under: life, rant

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since the Stone Age, man created weapons merely for the sake of hunting for food. Subsequently, as food became scare, man used the weapons created to fight amongst each other to be the survival of the fittest. It has never stopped until today. War still exists. In the mind set of man, war is an inevitable part of life. Is the statement justified? Has the world actually stay peaceful without war? Will mankind ever reach the stage where there will be peace without war?

War will not occur just overnight. It is the result of tension of various kinds. It could be personal tension, international tension, political tension or economic tension, which bring out the worst in any man. It is the fear, hatred, suspicion, and vengeance accumulated from these tensions that created war. It is in fact from the reflection of wrongful thoughts in man himself that peace and happiness would not survive for a long period of time.

Even as I am rambling about the need of peace in our world, there is a war happening somewhere out there. The latest being the assassination of ex-Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto in a suicide bombing in less than a few hours ago. The grand design of life would not be perfect at all time. It changes according to time. Even a flower may have its flaws. Why must we insist on examining its flaws rather than appreciating its beauty? Must man always deceive himself by having the disillusionment of “As I think, I will act” without considering other factors for a peaceful life?

It is all in the mind of man. Man will act irrationally towards his foolish thoughts. It is through his actions that the fortresses of peace will never be permanent. The cold chilling winds of war have been blowing all over the world, infesting the minds of mankind today. Man will never stop fighting, killing, murdering and wiping each other from the face of earth. In the end, who would win when there will be no one left on earth?

Why would man want to be the conqueror of war? Through the age of time, he will still be turned into the dust of the earth, with no love and gratitude from anyone. Neither will he earn the hearts of mankind. Isn’t it better to be the conqueror of hearts, where the kindness and compassion emitted from his heart be honoured and remembered in the mind of generations to come?

Peace will only come in when man live in harmony with the natural laws of having good principles in life. Nothing can bring peace except man himself. Conflicts do happen in life. With the ability to cope with it, and understanding the cause and effect of it, war will no longer be an inevitable part of our life. Just remember this. “It is not your position that makes you happy or sad; it is your disposition that will decide on how you would want to be.”

SPREAD LOVE, END WAR … IT IS FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR NEXT GENERATIONS.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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THROUGH THE EYES OF A MARRIED PERSON

Written by crizlai on Dec 26th, 2007 | Filed under: life, parenting, rant, relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What would you think would be the first impression of a person on another before getting married? Do you think it is love at first sight? Do you think it is the feel of knowing that the other person would be your perfect soul mate in the future? Do you think it is the desire to own another for self image and financial stability? Do you think that it is a way to satisfy your sexual desire as you would now be doing it legally and at any time you want? What about being pregnant and getting someone pregnant? Is it a thrill and excitement or is it sadness and sorrow?

These are some of the question I asked myself each time I see or hear disputes amongst married couples. Sex is indeed quite important in the life of a marriage. It is just an expression of a marital love and should not be taken as the main priority of a relationship. After all, a married life should be filled with mutual understanding in order to adjust, sacrifice, tolerate and be patient in situations that are deemed improper. It is also a commitment to lead the partnership towards attaining peace, harmony and contentment.

Now comes the hardest part of a married life. What would happen when they have children? There would be more commitments and responsibilities in the upbringing, as a child would spend most of his/her formative years in the care of the parents at home. Thus, a child would be picking up and imitate the lifestyle and values of the parents. This is the most crucial period for the parents as a child will have the immense potential to be good or evil.

What would you do as a parent to the child? Would you sacrifice your time to guide your child in their needs, from the basic necessity of food and lodging, education, until your see him/her walking down the aisle? Or would you chase your own dreams of being extremely rich without having the time even to be at home for his/her birthdays? Unfortunately, most parents of today are lack of this responsibility, causing their children to go astray in the society. The child becomes ruthless and rowdy because the lack of one thing that is most important in their lives – attention!

The first few years in the life of a child is basically formed based on character building. They will absorb characteristics by imitating the emotions of the parents. This is the most crucial period to be by his/her side all the time to show your parental love and affection, having a “love-filled-dispute-none” environment and to instill positive values into his/her life. Not only will the child grow up to be emotionally stable, s/he will also be sound both morally and psychologically.

Before you can even blink your eyes, the adolescence years of a child will slowly slip in. A child will see some changes to his/her physical appearances. This is the time where they will be asking about the “flowers and the bees” and life questions. As a parent, you have to be prepared to answer any questions thrown to you, by answering openly, truthfully and informatively to your child. Withholding vital information will not stop him/her from being exposed to any danger.

This is not the end of the duties of the parents. There will still be the college years, career years, courtship years, and marriage years to consider. So, what do you see through the eyes of a married person now? Do you think it is easy for them in their life? Do you think they have not sacrificed enough for the sake of a child’s life in the future? Do you think they should be ignored forever just because of a little advice that they have given for the sake of ensuring a child’s brighter future? Well, you will know when you are in their shoes and seeing through their eyes when you are married and have a child of yourself.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?

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