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INSIGHT CRIZ

applying love in our life

Archive for December, 2007

THE ABSENCE OF PEACE

Written by crizlai on Dec 28th, 2007 | Filed under: life, rant

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since the Stone Age, man created weapons merely for the sake of hunting for food. Subsequently, as food became scare, man used the weapons created to fight amongst each other to be the survival of the fittest. It has never stopped until today. War still exists. In the mind set of man, war is an inevitable part of life. Is the statement justified? Has the world actually stay peaceful without war? Will mankind ever reach the stage where there will be peace without war?

War will not occur just overnight. It is the result of tension of various kinds. It could be personal tension, international tension, political tension or economic tension, which bring out the worst in any man. It is the fear, hatred, suspicion, and vengeance accumulated from these tensions that created war. It is in fact from the reflection of wrongful thoughts in man himself that peace and happiness would not survive for a long period of time.

Even as I am rambling about the need of peace in our world, there is a war happening somewhere out there. The latest being the assassination of ex-Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto in a suicide bombing in less than a few hours ago. The grand design of life would not be perfect at all time. It changes according to time. Even a flower may have its flaws. Why must we insist on examining its flaws rather than appreciating its beauty? Must man always deceive himself by having the disillusionment of “As I think, I will act” without considering other factors for a peaceful life?

It is all in the mind of man. Man will act irrationally towards his foolish thoughts. It is through his actions that the fortresses of peace will never be permanent. The cold chilling winds of war have been blowing all over the world, infesting the minds of mankind today. Man will never stop fighting, killing, murdering and wiping each other from the face of earth. In the end, who would win when there will be no one left on earth?

Why would man want to be the conqueror of war? Through the age of time, he will still be turned into the dust of the earth, with no love and gratitude from anyone. Neither will he earn the hearts of mankind. Isn’t it better to be the conqueror of hearts, where the kindness and compassion emitted from his heart be honoured and remembered in the mind of generations to come?

Peace will only come in when man live in harmony with the natural laws of having good principles in life. Nothing can bring peace except man himself. Conflicts do happen in life. With the ability to cope with it, and understanding the cause and effect of it, war will no longer be an inevitable part of our life. Just remember this. “It is not your position that makes you happy or sad; it is your disposition that will decide on how you would want to be.”

SPREAD LOVE, END WAR … IT IS FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR NEXT GENERATIONS.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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THROUGH THE EYES OF A MARRIED PERSON

Written by crizlai on Dec 26th, 2007 | Filed under: life, parenting, rant, relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What would you think would be the first impression of a person on another before getting married? Do you think it is love at first sight? Do you think it is the feel of knowing that the other person would be your perfect soul mate in the future? Do you think it is the desire to own another for self image and financial stability? Do you think that it is a way to satisfy your sexual desire as you would now be doing it legally and at any time you want? What about being pregnant and getting someone pregnant? Is it a thrill and excitement or is it sadness and sorrow?

These are some of the question I asked myself each time I see or hear disputes amongst married couples. Sex is indeed quite important in the life of a marriage. It is just an expression of a marital love and should not be taken as the main priority of a relationship. After all, a married life should be filled with mutual understanding in order to adjust, sacrifice, tolerate and be patient in situations that are deemed improper. It is also a commitment to lead the partnership towards attaining peace, harmony and contentment.

Now comes the hardest part of a married life. What would happen when they have children? There would be more commitments and responsibilities in the upbringing, as a child would spend most of his/her formative years in the care of the parents at home. Thus, a child would be picking up and imitate the lifestyle and values of the parents. This is the most crucial period for the parents as a child will have the immense potential to be good or evil.

What would you do as a parent to the child? Would you sacrifice your time to guide your child in their needs, from the basic necessity of food and lodging, education, until your see him/her walking down the aisle? Or would you chase your own dreams of being extremely rich without having the time even to be at home for his/her birthdays? Unfortunately, most parents of today are lack of this responsibility, causing their children to go astray in the society. The child becomes ruthless and rowdy because the lack of one thing that is most important in their lives – attention!

The first few years in the life of a child is basically formed based on character building. They will absorb characteristics by imitating the emotions of the parents. This is the most crucial period to be by his/her side all the time to show your parental love and affection, having a “love-filled-dispute-none” environment and to instill positive values into his/her life. Not only will the child grow up to be emotionally stable, s/he will also be sound both morally and psychologically.

Before you can even blink your eyes, the adolescence years of a child will slowly slip in. A child will see some changes to his/her physical appearances. This is the time where they will be asking about the “flowers and the bees” and life questions. As a parent, you have to be prepared to answer any questions thrown to you, by answering openly, truthfully and informatively to your child. Withholding vital information will not stop him/her from being exposed to any danger.

This is not the end of the duties of the parents. There will still be the college years, career years, courtship years, and marriage years to consider. So, what do you see through the eyes of a married person now? Do you think it is easy for them in their life? Do you think they have not sacrificed enough for the sake of a child’s life in the future? Do you think they should be ignored forever just because of a little advice that they have given for the sake of ensuring a child’s brighter future? Well, you will know when you are in their shoes and seeing through their eyes when you are married and have a child of yourself.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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MONKEY HEAR MONKEY SPEAK MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO

Written by crizlai on Dec 24th, 2007 | Filed under: life, monkey, rant

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deep in the jungle, there lived 3 monkeys. They are Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil and See No Evil. They were highly respected by all the animals in the animal kingdom due to their wisdoms and actions. As years went by, development sets in and they were forced to blend in with the human in the newly modernized environment. In order to do so, they have to adapt to the thinking, behavior, characteristic and lifestyle of the human. Everything went on smoothly until the day they lost their instincts, identities and principles amongst the human.

Hear No Evil became insane. There was no ending to the grapevines, rumours and gossips that he has to face daily. Speak No Evil was disappointed and acted like a dumb. All the people he met will never listen to his advices but rather talk senselessly with no directions or facts to support. Two-way communication and compromising ceased to exist in the new world. See No Evil became confused due to the fact that everything he saw in his world was filled with wrath, lust, gluttony, sloth, envy, greed and pride. The human now were no better off than the wild animals in the jungle then.

But animals have one thing that the human are lack of – the act of responsibilities. For this case, let us study deep into a short story. In Zimbabwe, a childless couple adopted a baby female chimpanzee. They gave her all the love and care that any other animals will envy. Eventually after a year, the woman finally got pregnant. The couple decided to hand the female chimpanzee over to the zoo as they thought that it would be a burden for them to have more responsibilities and commitments.

The female chimpanzee was happy to see all the wild chimpanzees. Not long later, she got pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby chimpanzee. The mother chimpanzee somehow neglected her duties as a mother and never attended to the needs of the crying baby. However, the wild chimpanzee attended to the needs of the hungry baby. It shows that even an animal which has accustomed itself with the human, also neglect its duties and responsibilities.

Is that not what you see in the newspaper quite often? You will read about babies being discarded in dumps, rivers, or toilets. Human will often neglect and run away from their duties and responsibilities. Animals would not do so as they will understand their principles in life.

That is why the existence of the 3 wise monkeys is at stake. They have to recruit the fourth member into their group. That is why you will get to see four monkeys in a row nowadays instead of three. The fourth member is Do No Evil. Do No Evil is to instill the right principles and quality of life into the mind of the society, if not, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil and See No Evil would be hopeless. Without Do No Evil, the society would still be in a state of uncertainty to differentiate the right or wrong way to observe and understand any situations, listen and digest what is beneficial to their lives, speak what is relevant as not to hurt the feeling of others.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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LIVING LIFE SIMPLE

Written by crizlai on Dec 23rd, 2007 | Filed under: life, love, relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I am in a bad mood. Do not disturb me. Just leave me alone!” Does this phrase sound familiar to you? We have been living in a life filled with complexity, a world where we have complicated personalities, complicated social and cultural environment and being simple is no longer in our vocabulary. We have lost all the simplicity even when we were a kid, chasing dreams, getting good education and gaining the experiences that we need in our lives. By knowing more and being literate, we tend to explore more into the unknown and thus complicate and confuse ourselves even more. We ended up being a questioner, a doubter or a skeptic.

The outcome would be that you will not believe and trust things or a person easily, unless you see them in your own eyes or experience them yourself. Even a relationship will turn sour because of the lack of trust to believe the other person. In a relationship trust and believe are the two main requirements. A person will always need a good relationship for his own psychological development. This is where we learn and grow. This is where we understand each other better with openness, sincerity, care, love, respect and patience.

Sometimes relationships become entangled when there is a lack of communication or miscommunication. Just remember this. No one is perfect. There is always a flaw in every single one of us. This flaw should not be used as a mean to spoil a relationship. Whatever dispute that may arise, it should end with love, understanding, respect and appreciation. Otherwise, it will not be called a relationship.

Relationship is when love exists to enable two people to stay together, understanding and appreciate each other unconditionally. Judging ideas and ideals on another will cause great conflict. “You have to”, “You must, “You should” are some of the expectations in a relationship that will hinder free communication between two people. In the end, you cannot change him and he cannot change you and the relationship will turn sour eventually. Changes will not happen overnight. The more you forced that onto a person, the more tension he will have to be even near you. The further apart will the relationship be. If you intend to commit yourself into a relationship, accept who the other are and not what you want him to become. If he is truly in love with you, he will change for the better without even being told.

On the other hand, some relationships can be quite strange. Strange? Indeed people are strange. When you love someone and you sacrificed all that you have and yet you felt so empty. You felt as if the relationship is so insecure because you have no feedback or reaction from the other party. It is not that the other party is not aware of your sacrifices, but deep inside him, he is aware of your existence. It is in the human nature that nobody would want to be indebted to anybody. If you have sacrificed for someone you love, just forget about the repayment. Take it as if it is a community service. If they remember, then you are in luck. If they do not and you reminded them of what you did, they will hate you forever.

Don’t you think that is strange? Don’t you think that the human mind is rather complex? When you think you know what the other would want but in the end you get confused over what is in the mind of the other? You will end up asking yourself whether you are with the right person. Whatever happened to a person is how it is. It is a matter of knowing it and not by judging what you see. As soon as you add to it in any way, it becomes more personal, emotional and complicated. This is not how life should be. Living life should be as simple as possible.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?


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THE APPLE STORY – A LOOK AT LIFE

Written by crizlai on Dec 22nd, 2007 | Filed under: apple, friends, friendship, life, relationship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a box of apples of which some are infested with worms. Which apple would you choose? Would you choose a good apple or one with a worm sticking out? Most people with the right mind would have chosen a good one. Since birth, we were educated to accept things that look good or feel good. This has turned into a custom or a belief in our life from generations after generations, without mindfully considering the effect it will have on out lives.

If I were to be given a third choice, I would not choose any apples from that box. What for I choose an apple which look beautiful amongst all that are infested with worms? The apples would have come from the same tree and there could be worms inside too. The same way applies to our life. Looks can be deceiving until you understand deeply into the heart of a person. We would not know the intentions or motives of a person by just having a glance. It will take time before we can understand him better to accept him into our life.

If I have no choice but to choose either one of the apples, I would have chosen the one which looks good but with a worm sticking out of it. At least I will know there is a bad part which I can cut off in order to enjoy the balance of the fruit. As in life, no one is perfect and all of us have a bit of evil in us. If we are aware of the bad section of our life, we can learn how to cut that part off in order to have a sweeter life.

The key to a person’s heart is by understanding him better. And in any relationships in our life, the most valuable part is friendship. Life cannot be real if a relationship is not real. Thus friendship would not be real either. In most cases, friendship is not for real. It is just a game. It is just a deep craving for companionships. The days of having an honest, sincere, genuine, non-manipulative relationships hardly existed anymore. What has happened to the mutual respect and trust of a relationship today? People are becoming more inhuman due to lack of good relationships. Just like the apples, the more worms they have, the faster they get infested.

Nowadays, it is getting harder and harder to pick a good apple from any box as most of the boxes out there are having the same problems, worm infestations. There are so much uncertainty, insecurity, grief and anguish in our world. Can you really find someone who is almost perfect nowadays? I doubt it. Conditions are ever changing. One moment you see a good apple, and as time passes, it might not last up to your expectations. Just as in life. Good things in life are ever changing too. The happy moments, a loving relationship, success, good fortune, friendships; they are always changing. As in the gravity principle, what goes up will eventually come down. Life is full of the unexpected and impermanence.

We are all caught in this condition. We hardly have the control over life situations. We tend to have the mind set of “If you can’t beat the crowd, join them”. We adapt ourselves to the ever changing conditions, thinking that it will liberate us from any harm. This is totally wrong. How sure are you that being a good apple in a box of worm infested ones will not affect you at all? It is a matter of time that you will have a “soft spot” unknowingly and the worm will slowly creep into your heart.

This is life. A life filled with unseen threats. Unless a person is fully conscious to acknowledge things as how they are, whether they are good or bad influences to his life, he would be just like an apple in the worm infested box. There would not be any ending to any problems.

I'm thirsty for a drink now. Would you be kind enough to treat me?

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